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Am I wrong for not telling my future in-laws who I really am?

Posted on November 21, 2025 by Aleena Irshad

As a 27-year-old Spanish-American running a successful photography studio, I faced smug remarks from my fiancé Jonathan’s elite academic parents, who valued “real education” over my work. At his mother’s birthday party, filled with scholars, she warned me to stay quiet, assuming I didn’t fit in. But Dr. Irene Bell, a sociologist, recognized me as the photographer behind the award-winning “Faces of Resilience” series, featured in academic journals and a UN exhibit. My photos, especially one of an Afghan mother, reshaped trauma studies. Jonathan’s mother, stunned, hadn’t known my achievements. I’d never bragged, despite their dismissive comments about

my lack of college or “proper job.” Dr. Bell’s praise shifted the room’s dynamic, and suddenly, Jonathan’s parents were curious about my Harvard talks and Turner Prize nomination. Later, his mother apologized, admitting her assumptions. We bonded over lunch, and she invited me to feature my work at a university symposium. She even shared a personal photo from her activist past for my next series. I didn’t hide my success; I let them discover it. Their newfound respect meant more that way. Jonathan and I are marrying next spring, with his parents now supportive. Sometimes, letting others underestimate you creates space for them to learn your worth.

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